Doubly difficult day yesterday. Difficult because we are still going close-hauled at 10 knots in rough seas and 20-25 knots of wind. There is not a comfortable place to live on the boat. It heels at 15-20 degrees. It rises in the waves, hits, falls sometimes violently, or gets slapped on the side by a wave. We can not escape the muggy heat of the square by going into the cockpit because it is copiously swept by the spray. And it’s been like that for 3 days!
Yet, the atmosphere was pretty good yesterday on board Stand as One until a pain I thought had gone woke up. It took me by surprise after a heavy blow in a tack. It’s a tendinitis in the right elbow. I must admit that I know perfectly well when it happened. One Sunday afternoon in the crazy series of manoeuvres off Le Havre on October 25, the day of departure of the TJV. I realise that my mind didn't want to accept and tidied it away far from sight. If it woke up during the race or during the stopover in Itajaí, my brain immediately put the lid on it and ignored the problem. Indeed, it was going against it's plans: everything had to be linked together quickly after the TJV: solo sailing, back in France, qualification. But yesterday my arm said "stop, it hurts and you must listen to me!" You have to say that for one week, I led the boat alone, and naturally I used my arms heavily And with me, it is the right arm that leads the dance.
No more anxious than that, I called Jean-Marc Legac, the doctor who has been following me for several years and bestowed on me my beautiful first-aid kit. He diagnosed the famous Tennis Elbow and told me that it's annoying because it takes a long time to recover. The only cure is complete rest for three weeks. I hang up and thanked him. I made a dressing with anti-inflammatory with the help of David then found myself alone at my map table. Suddenly the sky fell on my head and tears came to me. How am I going to navigate alone on my IMOCA without my right arm? The challenge is so big already! As I had consciously expelled the pain from my brain, it took revenge and manifested itself more strongly. My arm is swollen. After long deliberation, the sentence falls: I can not go on like this.
I do not know yet what I'll do. We are speaking with the team and listing the possible scenarios. We will stopover in Recife so that I can rest and take stock for the future. I will keep you posted.
I, who yesterday spoke of the fact of knowing yourself, note today that I still have a long way to go.
See you soon,